some other dave entirely

there are things in this world that i simply do not understand - for example why do people in airports feel compelled to scroll through the address list in their cell phones calling each and every contact listed simply to say so...yeah, i'm at the airport - is there some law that states that you are not allowed to simply sit quietly with a book, a muffin, and a juice box? this makes absolutely no sense to me...

of course it also makes no sense to me that dave matthews continues to sell his own crappy brand of not rawk to the adult contemporary crowd but he does and those poor yuppie bastards eat it right up and attempt to recreate his funky not rawk sound on the ovation they purchased at the local music megacenter - but of course they can't because dave is guitar genius - (if by guitar genius you mean a guy who bothered to learn a few suspended chords in alternate tunings and appreciates the (tift) merits of a chubby drummer) - a guitar genius who opened wide the door of our hearts to allow that damn john mayer to seep in, but a genius nonetheless

although you'll never get me to admit that dave is a genius unless we're talking about some other dave entirely: letterman, barry, lee roth, hasselhoff, soul, coulier, koz - this list is not meant to be all inclusive it's just a brief overview of the many famous daves that walk this planet with more genius genes than that moderne day sting clone dave matthews - and you know what? i'd bet one million damn dollars that dave matthews talks on a cell phone while he sits around airports - that is when he's not walking around with a soft salted pretzel asking all the ladies to hike up their skirts a little more and whatnot as his face shimmers from the airport beer glaze - crash into me? ....is that kind of talk really appropriate for an airport dave? seriously.

cigarrettes and carrot juice/ get yourself a new tatoo/ for those sleeveless days of june